- Self Help Guide – How To Be Miserable
I believe it is harder to be miserable than to be happy. However, some people are intent on being miserable and make every effort to be so. The current economic climate has created a groundswell of people wanting to be miserable. And in order to help them, I have outlined below what I think are good techniques to help people achieve a high level of excellence when being miserable. See if you can recognise any of these behaviors?
Think of bad news as an opportunity to ride a wave
When there is a crisis like the current economic crisis. Become a spokesperson for doom and gloom. Enjoy the ability to wallow in the feeling of doom with others. Try to “Out-doom” them with stories about how bad things really are. Remember everything is a perception and if you create a perception of massive doom it is like a self professing prophesy. Your stories don’t even have to be true. They just have to be good stories. They can be dreams, authenticated by statements such as, “I am psychic and my dreams are a window to the future”.
Always highlight the problems but at no point try to offer a solution.
Indeed, if someone else does offer a solution, be the first to trash it. Solutions give hope and optimism which are two of the misery seekers arch enemies.
Set unachievable goals
Or adopt someone else’s. A good source for unrealistic or un-inspiring goals are parents, spouses or corporations. Ensure once you have the goals that you set clear milestones that serve as reminder of your inability to achieve and thus ensure the continuous re-enforcement of your failings.
Ensure your goals are communicated well and are visible not only to yourself but to those people who will get the greatest amount of satisfaction from your failure to achieve. It is important that you do not overreach with the objectives and give up entirely. Remember the idea here is that they are achievable in the right circumstances and if you were motivated by them, but it is your failure in spite of having all the resources that is important. This way the blame can be clearly laid at your feet and you can not divert any of the feelings of shame, guilt or low self esteem we are aiming at.
If you do not follow the above steps then I will have in essence failed and that in turn would leave me in a cycle of failure and low self esteem which in a way would add some authenticity to the article and be an excellent demonstration of the theory in practice.
Listen to your Internal Voice:
As your internal voice berates you in life it is important that you give it the gravitas it deserves to put you in your place. Its function is to ensure maximum impact of the negative in your life. It will magnify negative experiences you have and find some negative aspects in your positive ones. In some cases ensuring that positive experiences can be viewed as negative ones. It helps to adopt the belief that your internal is never wrong. It is the only one true voice in the world and should be given the reverence of a God. It is Gods voice. Honest !
Avoid people that make you feel good about yourself;
This is a common mistake made by the misery seeker. There are people out there that see the good and the potential in you despite your obvious failings as a human. Keep away from these people. They have an ability to inspire others and may fill your head with ideas of achieving happiness and peace. You must reach into the depths of your misery when confronted with these people and try to bring them over to your way of thinking. Common themes these people use are – life is about being and not doing, everyone is important and has a purpose, love is what’s important,
Don’t laugh.
This is a common mistake made by the misery seeker. This is especially dangerous as it accesses you physiology directly bypassing your internal voice and giving a feeling of joy. This can sometimes change the persons perspective and give them a feeling of self worth and happiness. Try to contain this activity. View laughter as an emotion that is to be shunned. Adopt the belief the when you laugh you embarrass yourself and you look foolish. Visualisations are good to help with this. Think of yourself as some kind of freak alien that laughs like a screeching hyena being stabbed with a large needle. You are that Hyena when you laugh. Visualise it, see it, be it !
Do not be fooled by positive emotions;
For example, if you must fall in love do it out of a fear. Fear of being alone or of not being capable of enticing someone to love you. Love is a short lived experience of joy. It will wear off and turn into a pathetic relationship ideal for the cultivation of long lasting misery. View your partner as a failure but what you deserve. If you have kids try to ensure they have a chance to be more miserable than you. Try to instil miserable knowledge and skills you have learned from life. Prepare them for the life that is ahead by protecting them from it and smoother them with your love. Ensure they don’t take risks.
Source Padraig Hyland ©